I edited it down a bit, but you get the gist:

“We don’t like to go out shoppin’,
We don’t care what’s on sale.
We just want to sit with a bag full of chips,
Watchin’ the NFL.
When you come over at half-time,
An’ say: “Does this dress fit too tight?”
We just look you in the eye with a big fat lie,
An say:”Uh, uh: Looks just right.”

Well, that’s the truth about men.
Yeah, that’s the truth about us.
We like to hunt and golf on our days off,
Scratch, an’ spit, an cuss.
It don’t matter what line we hand you,
When we come draggin’ in.
We ain’t wrong; we ain’t sorry,
An’ it’s probably gonna happen again.

…..We don’t really wanna take you to dinner,
At some fancy restaurant.
The only reason we do is ‘cause we know it leads to,
The one thing that we all want.

Well, that’s the truth about men.

You know it, son.”

**************************

I was driving home last night from my friend Emily’s, listening to the local country music station (shamelessly) when Byrd’s song came on.  I wasn’t paying attention to it…but started to really take in the lyrics upon hearing that, ”no matter what line we hand you, we ain’t wrong, or sorry, and we’re probably going to do it again.”  Apparently: the truth about men!  I cranked that shit up b/c i was APPALLED, obviously. 

I kept waiting for the song to turn.  You know how country songs do that?  They sing a whole song about one thing and then throw in a twist at the end that makes you think, “Oh, you clever thing, you!  I thought you were DEGRADING women and simplifying male gender roles, but in fact you were going to teach us a lesson on the importance of avoiding such things!!” 

This, unfortunately, is not how this story ends.  My mouth was agape as the radio woman Whitney Allen cut in to congratulate this man on a hilarious song.